10 SIGNS YOU WERE BORN AND RAISED IN
ARGENTINA
1. You talk to everyone as if
they’re part of your family.
You’d use the informal “vos” even with
the Pope, who’d appreciate it, of course, because he’s Argentine.
2. You’re not afraid to kiss.
Greeting everyone with a kiss — the teachers,
the waiters, etc. – is normal for you. And you send virtual kisses in every
email written for work, love, or a fight: “Te mando
un beso grande.”
3. If you see a car with a
plastic bottle on its hood/roof, you know that…
It’s for sale! Nobody knows exactly
where this custom came from, but it’s as universal as having asado on Sunday.
4. You know exactly what a
bidet is for.
And you’d like to find them everywhere! Unfortunately, it
seems like other countries are not interested in this convenient way to keep their “pudendas”
clean.
5. You’ve pushed a broken-down
car…more than once.
A friend, a neighbour, some stranger
is in the middle of the highway. You ended up all sweaty and covered in
grease/dirt, but with your new friends you had the satisfaction of having done your part to help, which is simply
part of our culture.
6. You still have nightmares
about dying after mixing
wine and watermelon.
Considered a deadly and lethal combination, wine and watermelon are
never found on the same table. What’s the science, exactly, behind this folk
wisdom?
7. You begin each phrase with
a long “Cheeee.”
“Che” is accompanied by any other
appropriate word: the always effective “boludo/a” (or “asshole”) or the milder
“¿viste?” (see?). And depending on context, you need the universally qualifying
adjective “re.” So it’s like: “Cheeee, estoy re feliz. Me vi con
Fulano el finde, ¿viste?”
8. You don’t believe that
sharing a mate is sharing germs with your friends.
Or maybe you believe it but you don’t care. And you’d
never (EVER) think of using
your own mate in a group. Mate is
for sharing.
9. Friends are…
People we love. Even if we grow up punching each other. We just
eat dinner together and then like new we’re family again, because there’s no
friend like an Argentine.
10. You’re born knowing that
life is simple pleasures.
You cry easily and you laugh really hard
at any phrase mentioned by your friends. You go from being furious
to being the happiest person living
on the planet. There’s always room for one more person at the table. There’s
always a reason to make a toast, a joke, to discuss, to complain. You’re
Argentine; you have an incomparable capacity to enjoy the simple things in life.
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